Maternity 33

week 28: three problems my children solved

Several months ago, a friend asked me what I missed most from my life before children. I was able to answer that question really fast: sleeping in, not being interrupted and travel to off-the-beaten path locations. She didn’t ask what I had gained from having children, maybe because she expected mention of love, fun and cuddles. Yet, had she asked that’s not what I would have said. My answer would have been considerably more pragmatic. My children have greatly increased my quality of life.

1. I’m no longer an insomniac. I probably only had a mild case of insomnia, as nights totally without sleep were very rare. But I had definite fear of that time of day when lights go off and you’re supposed to drift into sweet slumber. It would routinely take me an hour, and often more, to fall asleep, and this was a real pain point in my relationship with my husband. Today, thanks to sleep deprivation and an amazingly active life I can count on my hands the nights when I struggled to fall asleep since 2006. This is a real blessing.

2. My back hurts occasionally, but gets better almost as fast. When I was in my early 20s, I hurt my back on a tennis court, and it has bothered me since then. Much of my diet, exercise, and lifestyle are built around minimizing chance of back pain. Having children made me more active, and this suits my back. I’m seldom sitting for too long, I walk a lot, and I’m so desperate for moments of calm and zen that I have adopted a regular yoga and swim practice that also keeps my back happy. During both my pregnancies, the hormone changes seemed to suit my lower back and I’ve started exercising my abdominal muscles- something I systematically shied away from before I had children.

3. I don’t fight with anyone (especially my husband) about pointless issues. Two small children have pretty much drained the argumentative mojo from my spirit. And I don’t miss this!