week 5: make a new best friend… over 60 years old
Three years ago, when my son was born, very few people came to visit us at the hospital, per our wishes. Among the few visitors were my mother and her best friends, all of whom have since become crucial allies in helping us raise our children. In many ways, these women are now my best friends too, given how much I have come to rely on them.
My mother is intimately involved in our family’s life. However, as she lives in France, she can only provide logistical support in spurts, during her visits to San Francisco or on our two yearly trips to France. In her absence, her friends have stepped up to the plate in ways I can never repay. Several times a year, they drop everything to come and nurse me back to health, or care for my child while I honor a commitment that I did not want to cancel, or simply keep me company while my husband travels or works late. They call me regularly to check in on us, cook, baby sit,or drop off fabulous gifts. They even invite us to visit and pamper us: they cook, baby sit and make sure we get plenty of time to lounge by the pool, or read by the lake.
Women over sixty are the most soothing “species” I know. I often joke that I can’t wait to be sixty, given the wisdom and calm that comes at that time of life. What I particularly appreciate in my interactions with them is the perspective they can give me on my current busy and hurried life. They remind me to have fun and to savor my children’s infancy. They also give me practical advice: pushing me to get household help, providing references to doctors and healers, counselling me on my relationship with my husband, parents, in-laws. Finally, they make me feel good. You have no idea how important that is when you wake up every morning looking like the Abominable snowman (paleness from sleep deprivation and illness; unkempt hair from lack of personal time). They tell me I glow, that I’m “wonder woman”, that I am a great mother, that my children are smart and special. I highly encourage all young parents to make a new best friend… over sixty!
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